Wednesday, Jul 30, 2014
Joyce Minor

Men just don't get it


Published:   |   Updated: May 2, 2013 at 01:51 PM

Mother's Day always makes me contemplate the differences of mindset between men and women. Fresh flowers delight a woman more than almost anything else a loved one could give her, especially if they're artfully arranged in a pretty vase and delivered by a florist. They whisper to her heart, "You are loved, you are special, you are worth it."

This is true whether the gift is for an occasion like Mother's Day, her birthday, or her anniversary, but even more so if it's for no reason at all. Then it's pure magic.

Unfortunately, men will probably never fully comprehend this, because men are too practical. How many times have I heard a man say, "Flowers just die." And what he's really thinking is, "In a few days there'll be nothing to show for all the money I spent."

Ah, but men don't understand. For those few days she'll smile every time she walks by that beautiful arrangement. She'll stop to smell them countless times. She'll touch the petals and think about the one who sent them.

She'll pick out the dying stems and transfer the rest to a smaller vase, several times. And even when they all finally die and she throws them away, those flowers will live on in her heart for a long, long time.

The exception to this rule is if the flowers are an apology for something he did that was dumb or heartless or a betrayal of her trust. Then, don't even bother, Bub. Those flowers won't whisper your name to her, instead they'll shout some names you never want to hear.

Women also love to be pampered. A trip to the spa for a massage or a pedicure is pure indulgence, especially if someone else is footing the bill. Again, men just don't get it. They think that the minute she walks out of the spa, the gift is gone. They don't understand that the value is in how that hour or two of pampering makes her feel about herself. She feels beautiful, relaxed and loved for days to come, maybe even weeks.

An added benefit of these "disappearing" gifts is the gratitude and love she'll lavish back on the giver. So why do men not understand that those too will last far beyond the gift itself?

All this may sound a bit like a commercial for florists and salons, but it's not intended that way. This is a contemplation of the whole Mars vs. Venus universe that separates the sexes and probably always will.

What I don't get is why men object to spending $50 on flowers or spa treatments, but in a heartbeat they'll shell out that much for a porterhouse steak dinner or twice that for Bucs tickets. Aren't both of those things consumed in a flash too? And what do they have to show for their money the next day?

Guess this is one of those areas of life where the sexes are never going to see eye to eye. But, one final observation: Many women, including me, have learned to like football. We did it, at first, to please the men in our lives. Now many of us sincerely enjoy it.

Likewise, in the last few years, I've seen more and more men in the salon getting their toenails done. They've realized how great it feels to wear sandals without having to be ashamed of their feet.

So, now Father's Day is coming up. Maybe this year we should all send our Dads flowers...

Nah, he'd rather have another ugly necktie or a tenth pair of vice grips ... or Bucs tickets!

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