Now that I'm nearing the end of my educational journey, I am getting close to a point in time that I will begin working an actual job, which means I'll be faced with something I'm desperately dreading: the interview.
When I was accepted into the nursing program, I appealed to a local hospital for financial assistance. They agreed to help on the condition I sign a contract to work for them upon completion of my degree, which I was more than happy to do.
I erroneously believed that I could just knock on the door of the human resource director the day after my pinning ceremony and say, "Hey there! Remember me? I'm all done and ready to start working that job we discussed two years ago."
This is, in fact, not the way things are going to happen at all.
As it turns out, I have to interview in front of a panel. I found this out the other day when a very friendly representative called me to deliver this distressing news.
I instantly felt all of the blood drain from my face. "Oh! So I get to interview! That's wonderful!" I was saying in the most unconvincing, high-pitched voice imaginable.
I don't want to sound like I think interviews are similar to invasive exams a doctor performs with the curtain closed. In fact, they didn't used to bother me at all. It's just that I have not been interviewed for 10 years and never by more than one person at a time.
I was obviously hired off that last interview, but the two I had before that one did not turn out so well.
One was an attorney who seemed to like me well enough, but he felt the other candidate was slightly more qualified. I knew he was making a big mistake because I was absolutely the best person for the job. He objected and I withdrew.
The interview before that was the worst interview of my life. It was for a position outside of my experience so I turned in a resume not really expecting to hear anything back. When I got the call to come interview, I was excited at the prospect of possibly getting this unattainable job.
When I went in, the man immediately reminded me of my dad. I turned into a 5-year-old kid who got caught stretching the truth and every question he asked me sounded like a complicated quadratic equation that I had to solve.
Even the easiest question stumped me: "You say you enjoy reading, even biographies. Tell me a book you've read about a person that you admire."
I've read so many books in my life. I've read about civil rights leaders and presidents and great historical figures. For some reason, at that moment, I could not recall a single book I had read except the one I just finished. I blurted out, "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid!" Robbers and thieves: that's who I admired.
He ended the interview by telling me that I wasn't really qualified for the position, but I had written such an impressive resume that he wanted to meet the person who wrote it. I'm willing to bet that, to this day, he believes someone wrote it for me.
Next week, when I'm on display in the pressure cooker, my only hope is that my brain will communicate with my mouth. My resume is done. For the record, I did write it all by myself.